It's hard to decide which I crave more.. recognition, confidence, or meds. I'm thinking of getting a doctors note, so that I can claim depression without being thought a melodramatic sympathy whore. But then I'm not after sympathy at all, in fact I refrain from communicating with most people just to keep from bringing them down. Everyday I hear "Travis, how are ya?" and all I can think is "I've lost my gf, my home, and my car, and everything else I've worked my ass off for over the past three years only to come to the bitter realization that I've wasted my teen years and completely sacrificed personal growth for something I could have accomplished much more easily in the long run had I not made such horrible selfish decisions. Aside from that, my job is a complete waste of time, I know I'd fit right in if I faked a happy personality, but you'd have to be ignorant not to see how miserable every other employee in this company is, and just once when some one asks me how I'm doing I'd like to tell them 'Terrible!
now how about you and me burn this fucker down, then we'll all sit around and talk about what we're going to do with our lives now that we're free... because honestly, don't tell me that when you were my age you planned on sitting in front of a god damn computer making a rich man richer for a half decent living. how're you?' 'Not bad!' they'd say 'BULLSHIT' I'd reply. But not everyone gets my sense of humor."
I think I'm more afraid of being the negative nancy then I am of being the creepy anti-social guy... there are too many personalities in the world. I think if I want to find a few that are compatible, then I'm gonna have to allow myself to clash a bit.
dumm-diddy-dummmmmm
Not Impressed
Confused
Hopeless
